Where are the pictures?

I was going to work on getting some photos in here, but then a new development. Jessica hurt her foot today, possibly another broken bone. We RICE'd it (rest, ice, compression, elevation) and put it in the brace she's used twice already this year, in April and September. I had just told her the other day that she's already broken bones twice this year, so NO MORE! Clearly, she didn't listen. She evidently twisted it coming down the stairs, somehow. I'll try to get her in to see the orthopedist tomorrow to get an x-ray, but really didn't see the need to rush off to an ER tonight. Kind of sad that this is getting so commonplace.

Sometimes I wonder... Where is this going? I thought about whether it would have mattered if someone had been with her today, and I don't think so. If I'd been home, she still could have, and probably would have, slipped coming down the stairs. If someone else had been staying with her, same thing. So I'm not sure how to protect her from these things happening. I do think that at some point she will not be able to stay home alone, and I always tell myself that I'll know when that time comes. But sometimes I wonder... what will that look like? Will I really know? And how will I accomplish that anyway, since I'm not yet able to retire and stay home full time myself. I cannot see her living in a nursing home situation, can't bear the thought. A group home or assisted living situation of some kind? Hiring someone to stay with her 9-10 hours a day while I work? She adamantly does NOT want a "babysitter." And even if she agreed, or if I insisted without her agreement, could I really even afford that? I don't think so. So what options are there? That's always the question, and the answer always is the same... I don't know. At least not yet.

These thoughts seem to occupy an inordinate amount of my time. I think I just keep hoping/praying that she can hold out, relatively unscathed, until I can manage to be home full time, and most of the time I think that's a real possibility. Every time something like this happens, though, it makes me question whether that's a realistic expectation, whether I'm deluding myself just because I so want to believe it.

So, at the end of the day, where does that leave her, us? Same as always--no clear answer.

Merry Christmas Tyler!

This was one of Tyler's Christmas gifts - an hourglass from his Uncle Michael. Turns out he'd been wanting one for a long time. Who knew? His dad says that when they were looking at model homes during their recent house hunting expeditions, Tyler wanted them to buy a particular house, and when asked why, he said it was because "it was the one that had the hourglass." He assumed, I guess, that the decorations came with the house (not an unreasonable expectation from his point of view, I suppose). I think this was his favorite gift, aside from the electronic stuff, i.e. Wii games. Erin tells me that every time she saw the hourglass the next day, it was draining sand, so obviously he'd been turning it over all day long. A hit, Uncle Michael!

Why call it "Jane's Aire?"

I guess I should explain why I titled this blog "Jane's Aire." Although I'm not sure of the reasons myself, and am hopeful they might become clearer to me as time passes, I thought I'd try. The book Jane Eyre was very meaningful to me as a child. I read it innumerable times, cried over it endlessly, and mostly daydreamed about it. The characters were as real to me as the members of my family, the people in my neighborhood, or the children in my classrooms; I identified with several of them, depending on my mood and/or situation at the time. When I first thought the other day about doing a blog myself, for some reason Jane Eyre popped into my head. I'm not sure of the reasons, but it was a strong feeling. And when I tried to think of other, perhaps more appropriate names, I could think of none. Hence, I'm going with my version--Jane's Aire. And I'll see what, if anything, develops.

Why a blog?

I've been following several blogs for the last six months or so. I've found it most interesting and rewarding. I have reconnected with some old friends, and children of old friends, through both their facebook entries and their blogs. I was talking to my son the other day about how much I enjoyed it, but needing to "get a life" before having anything to blog about myself. I don't see myself as one who would have anything interesting to say, that any readers would find of value. I certainly don't go anywhere interesting, or do much of anything that would interest anyone to read about.

But then I realized that I don't look at the blogs that interest me for those reasons at all. I see them as a way to get to know their creators better, to gain insight into the workings of their minds, to get a glimpse into their lives. I so appreciate how diverse they are, and what unique and very different things each of them offers. I find it almost as equally fascinating to read the seemingly mundane details of day-to-day life as it is to read some of the very most personal and meaningful events in their lives. I find myself appreciating the writers for sharing both. I am fascinated by how people think, why they do what they do, what interests and intrigues them, what challenges they face; their blogs allow me access to those very kinds of things.

When I looked at blogging from that perspective, it occurred to me that perhaps I could do the same, and maybe someone who knows me would be interested in what I have to say in these areas as well. If not, it could, at the very least, serve as a journaling and maybe even therapeutic experience for me, creating a framework in which to record my own musings. I've always found it illuminating to write about experiences, thoughts, problems, etc. So maybe I'll do it in a more public forum, and just see how it goes.

So, with that introduction, I'll give it a shot. Maybe it will take on a more specific focus at some point--or not. We'll just have to see how it goes...